Batting Sixth

A Lesson Well Learned

2006-06-20T09:49:00.000-05:00

Over this last weekend I worked 43 hours in a 3 day period. It's tough to find time to get any sleep when there are whining people that desperately need your attention. Saturday night I was leaving Park Rapids Hospital after bringing a patient in that was in a ATV crash my partner informed me my phone had rang when he was sitting on it (long story). One of the calls was my mom, she said my Grandmother had passed away an hour earlier. That's a tough thing to take when you have to spend the 6 hours working on the Ambulance saving people when you couldn't save someone in your family. After my shift at the Ambulance I had to work at my other job with schizophrenics for a long 14 hour shift. I guess the lesson here is to not work so much and take the time to be with your family, because you never know when they might need you.

The Greatest Like, Week Ever!

2006-06-09T12:48:00.000-05:00

So far this has been a phenomenal week;

Monday: I found out that the child my wife and I are having is a boy, so I'm really stoked

Tuesday: I got a new job here in Bemidji doing the same thing I do now except instead of old people it's very aggressive middle aged men. I get paid more and don't have to drive.

Wednesday: I passed my test for Kumdo, so I am now a third gup

Thursday: I found out that I get to take a scuba diving course and possibly do search and rescue in Walker.

Although nothing great has happened yet today I am optimistic for the future. I have my Tae Kwon Do testing on Sunday (I don't think I can fail) for brown belt. Only time will tell what's in store for today and tomorrow so I will wait and see.

Boredom On a Wonderful Day

2006-05-25T14:22:00.000-05:00

There should be no reason I am so bored today. I have no children at the moment, and nothing but time on my hands. Yet, there is nothing constructive I can think of to do that I don't already have planned for tonight. Oh well, I'll see how it goes.

Let's See How Evil We Are

2006-05-18T00:45:00.000-05:00

In my usual style of wasting time, I decided to take a test to see which level of hell I would end up in.

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Second Level of Hell!

Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
Level | Score
Purgatory | Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo | Very Low
Level 2 | Very High
Level 3 | Moderate
Level 4 | High
Level 5 | Very High
Level 6 - The City of Dis | Very High
Level 7 | Very High
Level 8- the Malebolge | Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus | Very High

Level descriptions: http://www.4degreez.com/misc/dante-inferno-information.html
Take the test: http://www.4degreez.com/misc/dante-inferno-test.mv

So I'm in the second level, reserved for the Lustful, the ones who believe in their own happiness above all others. Although I was very high in every level past the fourth, almost non-existent in purgatory and level one.

Twins are Losing, Good Job

2006-05-08T19:03:00.000-05:00

It would seem the Twins have no idea how to win a baseball game, other than by pure luck or on the strength of Santana. The Twins need to take a vacation and travel down to Houston to see how a real baseball team plays. At this rate they could even go to Florida and watch the Devil Rays or Marlins and pick up a few pointers.

The Aristocrats

2006-03-02T03:06:00.000-06:00

I rented the film The Aristocrats tonight from Blockbuster. On the cover it says, 100 comedians, one very dirty joke. They were right, it was the dirtiest documentary I have ever seen. The premise is, among comedians there is a joke, a joke that is so disgusting it has become a classic only told from comedian to comedian.

I would call this film grotesquely hilarious. It is filled with stars of yesterday and today. Everyone from The Smothers Brothers to Jon Stewart, Phyllis Diller to Sarah Silverman, and George Carlin to Drew Carey. All of them adding their own ideas into this joke that has been around for half a century.

The joke itself is like a jazz line for comedy. Everyone brings a little something different. It seems at times to be nothing more then a vessel to push the envelope of decency, not that I'm complaining because I couldn't stop laughing throughout the majority. At one point they brought in South Park and had Cartmen retell the joke. With over twenty versions heard (and twenty others that didn't really relate to the original) you get a sense of the satirical nature behind it all. It was said that Chevy Chase would have his guests tell a version of this joke before they were able to gain entry to his party's.

All-in-all I have to say it was one of the funnier movies I have seen lately. Counting up more swear words then all of Andrew Dice Clay's stand up, and more incest then Georgia, this film will live on as a comedic gem that will no doubt go unnoticed except by those with just the right balance of humor and instability that commonly comes with being at the lower end of human decency.

Would you like BBQ sauce?

2006-03-02T00:00:00.000-06:00

Over the past few weeks, I have become increasingly frustrated with my wife's new puppy. He has chewed on anything his mouth will fit around, urinate in every corner of the house, and leave horrid smelling presents next to my shoes. Not all that uncommon with a puppy, but because it was not my choice to bring this entity into my living environment it's a constant irritation. It wasn't until I came home and saw that my favorite hat was chewed to pieces that I really became annoyed.

In talking about it with one of my friends we decided that the best course of action would be to have a barbecue to relive the tension. It's a great suggestion considering the menu will consist of roast retriever. I wonder what dog tastes like? My guess is it tastes like Chinese. Oh well, we'll just have to use a lot of BBQ sauce, maybe throw some chicken on the grill to hide the origin of the mystery meat from the weak hearted.

So as the snow melts and the grill becomes exposed, the days are counted down until we can fill our bellies with various flavors of charred flesh and potatoes.

Sanity vs Serenity

2006-02-24T22:40:00.000-06:00

As I sit at work I can't help but think about how the human mind can get so fractured. I start to wonder which is better, to be left alone with your mind wandering, or drugged up and dragged back to reality, just so you can get the full view of your life in an institution. I think about which I would prefer and as of yet I still believe I would be happier not knowing my own name. Better that then suffer in the knowledge that I have lost complete control of the only thing that was real.

Happy+Crazy vs Pissed+Sane, seems simple.